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Hello new employee!
Here at Bobbert’s things and people, We take pride in having every employee fit a job, no matter what! After careful consideration, your position in this company will be [POSITION_STRING] so get used to being called [NULL] and [POSITION_RELATED_NICKNAME_STRING] your pay will be [INTEGER].25$ and your hours will be in the [INTEGER]-[INTEGER] range. Your duties in this position will be as follows: [POSITION_TABLE]
You start work June 13, 20[INTEGER], at 9:00 AM
With best regards,
Automated employer system.
Interesting. Mark applied to Bob’s because they always know what job to give someone. As someone who has turned 16 he figured it will be the perfect way to get an easy job. Although it seems he now has to go to support to figure out how to get this sorted out.
Hello, I have a problem, I’m not sure what my position is or where I’m suppose to go. My Employee number is 9947246.
Mark Walkings.
Hello Employee 9947246
We searched our system and your put down as position [NULL], this means you will go [SUPPORT_RESPONSE_STRING].
Hoped we helped,
Automated Support System.
Well that was a helpful response, guess mark will have to go into Bob’s tomorrow and talk to a human or something, maybe he can get this sorted out and start making money.
Waking up on the 13th day of June, mark disembarks early, to get his position clarified to him. Walking into Bobbert’s things and people, he goes to the help desk, but finds only the automated help system. He decides to go and clock in and find out what to do from there.
Hello [POSITION_STRING], to start. You need to do
Need to do what? The screen has froze up, his ticket has printed, but it doesn’t tell him what to do. Maybe all these placeholders has crashed the system, why it took this long Mark doesn’t know but he waits for a human to fix the system.
Instead of hanging on the screen, or blanking out. After a while the screen goes back to the POS menu and mark still stands there.
“Hey pal, move it we need to start our job too.”
Mark moves out the way and lets the line of people clock into the system. Everything runs smoothly like that was suppose to happen. He decides to just to do nothing, if he can get away with it then its easy money… whatever he is suppose to get paid.
The days pass, and mark gets his end of the week paycheck. He “worked” a full 9 to 5 shift every day for the past week, that adds up to a grand 57 hours. Impressive. Mark checks his newly made bank account to find he has made… 525,732,210,000,000,000,000$??
He did the math and found his hourly pay was 9,223,372,036,854,775,807.25$, apparently with no tax taken out.
A few days later, and its found out that Bobbert’s things and people shut down after a major system error, and bankruptcy.